I have decided that instead of carrying a bookbag around to my classes I am just going to wheel around a little red wagon. I remember the days when I would tie my wagon to my dogs and make them pull me around the yard. Today this may be considered inhumane (for good reason) but then it represented my care-free and indestructable young self.
So a liitle red wagon for my books, expanding files and the collection of pens which have somehow accumulated over time yet I have no idea where most of them came from. I figure this is ok, considering the pens I buy somehow dissapear. It's a mysterious trade-off.
Now for the boring stuff about everyday. Keep reading and pretend to be interested because I'm going to get personal here:
I am really unsettled. This time of my life includes many transitions such as returning to the Malone Community from a semester away, living off-campus for the first time, having a car, having a job off campus, and possessing different college responsibilities than previous years. I desire affirmation from others like never before in my life. Now, I've always needed affirmation, but never on such a grand scale. I spent a few weeks beating myself up about not having faith and being so shallow that I am depending on people's compliments to make it through the day. I have now come to the point, however, where instead of chastizing myself, I have begun to ask, "Why is it that I am needing these things? What is going on in my life that is giving me the desire to feel such support and affirmation." Some of the causes, I concluded, are listed above (i.e. returning to Malone, living off campus, etc.) Others are yet to be discovered.
And I'll close with a really great story!
I work at the Players Guild Theatre as their Marketing/Communication intern. Everyonce in a while there is a meeting that no other office person can make it to so I am sent as a representative. One particular meeting took place at the 356th Fighter Group restaurant. It was a gathering of lodging, food and entertainment suppliers in Stark County. There were hotel and restaurant managers, and directors of local attractions. And then there was me: an intern. A very nervous intern. Before walking into the building I thought to myself, "Kelly, you're probably younger than everyone. You need to look like you know what you're doing." So in a panic, I grabbed my Malone chorale music folder to use as a prop portfolio. I sat next to the Residence Inn manager and we chatted lightly. When the meeting began I occasionally opened my choir folder and pretended to take notes. After the meeting people were standing around talking about movies. Silence of the Lamb came up and they were all recounting when they saw it in the theatre. It was my turn to share about my experience and I grew nervous that my young age would be revealed. I laughed nervously and said, "I wouldn't know, I was only 13" (When in all reality, I was definetly not even thirteen but nine)! Well saying that I was 4 years older than I am still brough about comments like, "Ugh you make me feel so old". This may sound a little like lying, but I figured the other people there would rather be lied to than to know that they were swapping business advice with a 21 year old college intern holding a choir folder!
